Five Things Challenge for [livejournal.com profile] stargateland

May. 27th, 2011 05:49 pm
fairjennet: Text only. "In the beginning, there was nothing, which exploded." (team sg-1)
[personal profile] fairjennet
I wrote something else! You guys, this is so weird. I don't even like how this turned out, and yet it's not making me nervous to post it.

Five things the stargate language program found too difficult to translate

1. Be patient
Gatebuilder technology often contains a mental component, and the language translation program that allows people to communicate with one another when they step through the stargate is an ingenious use of the Ancients' mental manipulation. Because the program interacts directly with each individual, however, it sometimes makes for some very surreal moments. Cam still has trouble keeping a straight face when he remembers the time the prim and proper matriarch of MX2-765 told him, "Now, don't get your panties in a twist, honey child. We'll start negotiations in a few minutes."

2. Indeed
The stargate language translation program often misses nuances. Sometimes this is relatively harmless; for example, the word that actually comes out of Teal'c's mouth when he says "indeed," translates roughly to something like, "as sure as fertilizer from a Griv'lak's backside." Daniel couldn't stop smiling for weeks after he figured out that one.

3. Ceremony of trust
Sometimes, however, the stargate's difficulty with language nuances has more serious effects. In fact, there's an entire room of file cabinets devoted to these types of errors in the SGC. Walter once spent a month cross-referencing the forms in the file for "ceremony of trust," words that can mean anything from the kind of team building exercises recommended by new age gurus to ritual enemas with some planet's version of cayenne pepper.

4. Kree

5. Coke--Life begins here
After Coca-Cola unveils their newest ad campaign, Vala shudders every time she sees one of the distinctive red and white cans. There's absolutely no way she's going to drink something that promises to "conceive life inside ," not after the way she suddenly found herself pregnant with Adria.

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